Tips for Managing Anger

Anger is an emotion that can cause us to lose control or become violent. Extreme anger can destroy families, friendships and careers, and can even lead to criminal behavior. Yet anger does not have to be acted out--it can be controlled and re-directed.

Change the Way You Think About Anger.
Generally, people do not admire those who throw temper fits, nor do they think of them as powerful. Often they are viewed as "crazy", "weak willed" or "abusive"--someone to be avoided and not trusted.

Eliminate Self-Defeating Beliefs.
Phrases such as: "That's how I feel, that's just me.", "I have no choice in the matter.", "I didn't mean to get angry; I just couldn't stop." are examples of self-defeating beliefs and are simply untrue. Anger can be controlled.

Take Responsibility and Take Control.
Accept rational beliefs that are constructive and true. "In any situation I can CHOOSE to feel the way I want to feel." "I DO have a choice in the matter of how I feel."

Stay Away from Trouble.
Avoid people and situations that typically cause you extreme anger whenever possible.

Learn to Walk Away.
Many times simply walking away from a potentially tense situation can stop the onset of angry behaviour..

Refuse to Argue or Respond to Ridicule.
Make your point once and then let things go. You can't win an argument by overpowering another person with your anger. You won't change their mind and you could start a fight or even lose a friend.

Take Time Out.
Find a distraction or leave your anger behind. Drink some ice water, listen to soothing music, take a walk. Give yourself at least 15-20 minutes to cool off, collect your thoughts and regain control.

Talk Out Angry Feelings.
Talk over your angry feelings with the person you are upset with, without cussing or threatening. Do this only if you are feeling in control of your responses and will not become irrational or violent.

Talk About Your Feelings.
Talk out your feelings with a neutral third party (friend, parent, counselor). Talking things over with someone who is objective can help you gain insight and knowledge about your anger and how to control it.

Practice Self Control.
Practice these self control and anger management tips repeatedly. Use them over and over. Ask others for help. Pride yourself on controlling anger. Make it your daily goal.